Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

Pregnant women are cute, right? It can be so hard to just leave them be in their natural habitat, apparently. Like the grocery store or the mall. Friends and strangers alike are so comfortable with saying anything they want to a pregnant woman, and some comments are so shocking that they are almost impressive. Like, wow, you’re either so blissfully ignorant that you have no idea how rude you are or you’re just an asshole. And while some people are just trying to be nice, it ends up just being awkward.

And it gets worse the more kids you have. Or the less kids you have? I don’t get it either. A woman can’t win. The comments start getting more outrageous the further along you are in each pregnancy too, as if the number of weeks pregnant equals the amount of crazy shit that gets said to you. I’m only halfway through this pregnancy, and I don’t remember everything that was said to me in my first pregnancy, but I know things get weird.

“One of each! You can be done now!” Gee thank you, because my family wasn’t going to be complete until I had one of each gender, even if that meant 10 girls to get that last boy. How ancient and sexist of you.

“Aw, the same gender? Maybe next time!” Again, as if a family with children of only the same gender isn’t complete. And why are you disappointed about a child that’s not yours? Find a hobby.

“You’re looking pretty swollen. How’s the weight gain?” Uhm, pretty sure you’re not supposed to call a pregnant woman fat, directly or indirectly. If I feel like stuffing my face with mozzarella sticks, I will.

“Wow, another one already? You’re going to have your hands full.” I’m sorry, didn’t realize you were the age gap police.

“You know how that happens, right?” This one blows my mind. My sex life is not your business and I’m not a stupid woman. I’ll have 15 kids if I feel like it.

“It must be a girl. She’s sucking all the beauty out of you!” Oh, so now I’m both fat and ugly. Awesome.

This is only the beginning, and not even the worst of them. Like I said, it gets worse especially if you are super duper pregnant or overdue. People need to step back and mind their business, because the second time around, my filter is nonexistent just like that of obnoxious people. I have a toddler and growing child. I have no time for your nonsense.