Getting Real with Kira Hazledine
From early on, my daughter Hallie has made it clear what she likes to wear. I distinctly remember having to pull over on the side of the road in desperate attempts to figure out what was wrong with my usually happy child. She rarely had issues in the car, she wasn’t hungry, and she didn’t need a diaper change. The problem? The dress. I’m pretty sure this child was all of 6 months old, and she was pissed because I had put her in a dress.
I’m thrilled that my child was able to communicate with me her distaste with the outfit choice, but it has only gone downhill from here. I don’t even bother purchasing clothes if Hallie’s not around to approve the choice, because if she doesn’t like the outfit, she won’t wear it. By the way, she’s two.
Sure, this is one of those moments that I could put my foot down and tell Hallie that she must wear the matching outfits that I provide for her, complete with hair done up in a bow. But why would I do that? I fight so many battles with this toddler, and clothes are not something I want to add to the list.
They are just clothes.
Clothes are one of the very few things Hallie has control over, so I let her run with it. Some days Hallie looks like a homeless ballerina. I super don’t care.
Hallie is also allowed to choose from the boys’ and girls’ section of the store.
None of my children will ever be limited to their “designated section.” Hallie is drawn to the boys’ side of clothing because they have pockets, and this girl loves pockets. Hallie also enjoys Frozen, but thinks dinosaurs are cool, too. She wants the best of both worlds, and again, I super don’t care.
Clothes are not my problem, and honestly, it’s not my decision. Hallie may be a toddler but she’s still an autonomous individual. She has her own thoughts, feelings, and personality, and clothes are a huge piece of how she presents herself to the world. If someone tried to tell me how to dress each day I would go tell them to kick rocks.
It’s also unrealistic to hold my children to standards I don’t hold myself to.
If I even tried to tell Hallie she had to match her clothing, my husband would probably die laughing. I wear what’s comfortable, and IDGAF if it matches. I make no apologies for my outfit choices and I won’t apologize for how my children choose to express themselves.
I have bigger fish to fry.
If Hallie could just stop beating her friends with calculators (having a slight problem with aggression) I would let her wear a trash bag to the local play center. We fight so many different battles with our children, and clothes are not something I’m willing to argue over. All I need to know is that Hallie is appropriately dressed for the weather and that her clothes are age appropriate. That’s it.
I want Hallie to have this bit of independence. It’s so good for children to feel they have the power to define who they are from a young age, because regardless of what I dress her in now, it’s not going to matter in ten years. Hallie’s strong voice will only grow stronger, and I’d rather be along for the ride with her than against her. We will have moments where I have to step in and “be the parent” but her outfit choices as a toddler is not where it needs to happen.
