Getting Real With Wanda Morrissey
I’m the member of several online mom communities, and every now and then I see discussions over whether or not sneaking veggies into children’s meals is deceitful. Me, I’m a huge fan of sneaking veggies into meals and don’t see it as being deceitful. What I can gather from the various debates that I’ve read about, I’m in the majority, but there is a very vocal group of moms who believe that sneaking veggies is lying to our kids.
I’m drawn to these debates like a moth to a flame because I keep hoping that someone can give me a good reason why sneaking veggies is a lie. It hasn’t happened yet. Most of the moms who are anti-sneaking believe that it is a lie of omission. Because the child isn’t told there are veggies in there, that makes it a lie. I have two responses to this: 1) I don’t provide an ingredient list along with supper and 2) how can it be a lie if I’m not asked if I’ve sneaked veggies into the meal. My point is this; when I’m asked, ‘What’s for supper?’ my reply will be ‘Lasagne‘, for example, not ‘Noodles layered with meat, sauce, cheese and I pureed carrots and put them in the sauce.’
Then there are the moms who pull out the ‘traumatizing’ card. These moms maintain that when children find out that they’ve been lied to about veggies being in their meals that they’ll never be able to trust again. They believe that when kids do discover they’ve been hiding veggies in meals that kids will be traumatized when they learn the truth. I don’t even know how to respond to that argument. I think these moms are a little overdramatic. Traumatized by pureed veggies? How emotionally fragile are these kids?
The best argument I’ve seen yet is the mom who said sneaking veggies goes against the Ten Commandments, in particular the 9th commandment – Thou shalt not bear false witness unto thy neighbour or, more commonly, Thou shalt not lie. This mom flat out condemned the veggie sneaking moms to hell because we were breaking the commandments. Now, I don’t want to offend anyone, but I really doubt the Lord was talking about hiding a few vegetables when He wrote that commandment. How can making sure my child is getting the proper foods be a sin? No one has been able to answer that question to my satisfaction.
I make light of the whole argument but some take it seriously. I honestly don’t see the problem with sneaking veggies into a meal. I think it’s a great way to get extra nutrition into a meal and not just for my son but for my husband and I as well. I also think it’s a great way to get an extra serving of vegetables for myself. In my opinion it’s a win – win situation.
I don’t know what to do first – laugh or cry! Some moms just don’t get it; parenting is doing what’s right for your child even when it’s not popular, even when it goes against political, religious or cultural ‘correctness’. Also, if lying to your kids is so traumatic, what about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy?
I better stop yapping and go check on my zucchini stuffed lasagna 😀
I agree with you completely that putting vegetables in food is not “lying.” It’s just adding ingredients.
I guess if a kid and a parent have been butting heads about eating broccoli, the kid might feel betrayed if she sees broccoli in her food. But the big problem happened when the kid and her parents started arguing about food, not when the kid was “betrayed.” As many people have said, “It’s your job to put food in front of them. It’s their choice to eat it or not.”
The main problems with sneaking food, in my opinion, is that it doesn’t teach kids to like the taste of real food, and it DOES teach them to like the taste of the cupcakes (or whatever) that you’re putting it into. For more on this, see my article here http://smartparentprogram.blogspot.com/
Thanks, Julia. I like the idea of using a “one bite suggestion” is a great idea. As the parent of a child with Asperger’s, we have learned to be very tolerant of taste preferences and simply offer alternatives that offer the same nutrition and don’t require our child to eat foods that aren’t palatable.