Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

I keep forgetting what a whirlwind labor and delivery were. One second, I was a happy pregnant whale, and the next I was breaking my husband’s fingers with every contraction. Our baby girl was born, and then I had recovery to deal with. It’s a little disorienting, especially when it’s your first child, and I had so many things on my mind. How do I keep this human alive? Am I doing this right? I don’t know how to breastfeed, or why she’s crying. HELP.

Although I had a great birthing experience and a very supportive staff of nurses, the one thing I really didn’t want to worry about was the dreaded postpartum bleed. I had heard only horrendous things about it, and when trying to manage a newborn, it’s not something I felt like dealing with. My solution? I definitely wore adult diapers. No regrets.

Why? Let me tell you.

My. Vagina. Hurt. Everything hurt. My butt hurt. My boobs hurt. My nipples hurt. You know what felt great? I diaper. Adult diapers are so stretchy and nice, and obviously well padded. There were no seams poking into me (which I hear is awful after a C-section) and I didn’t have to worry about leaking everywhere. I still used the toilet regularly, in case you’re wondering, but I knew if I sneezed wrong and lost control, nobody would know the difference. P.S. I’m very glad I don’t struggle with postpartum incontinence. Doesn’t seem fun.

One word. Padsicles.

If you haven’t heard of padsicles and are still bearing children, you need to know about this. It’s like an ice pack for your lady bits, and I loved it. If you google padsicles you’ll come up with a million different recipes, but what worked for me is this:

  • Nighttime and daytime sanitary pads
  • Aloe Vera
  • Witch-hazel

Some recommend lavender or whatever, but I’m not that fancy. You spread aloe and witch-hazel all over some heavy duty sanitary pads, wrap them neatly back up, and stick them in the freezer. Oh my heaven. When I was feeling sore, I would take a padsicle and stick one in my handy dandy diaper, and it felt so wonderful. I will never not use padsicles in the future. So great. And if you’re worried about the mess… why? You’re already a war zone down there anyway. Might as well make it feel better.

I know people have their own tips and tricks for surviving postpartum, but adult diapers are what I would include in my arsenal every time. I didn’t have any dignity left after childbirth anyway, so why suffer needlessly? I live in a judgment free zone, and even my husband laughed. You do what you have to do, mommas. You are a warrior, even in diapers.