The pursuit of happiness is one of the main drives of human life. We want to be happy. We worry when we are not happy. We want to raise happy kids. We want to be happy as parents and spouses.

We often lose sight, however, of what true happiness is and how it feels. For me, happiness is the ability to let go of stress, be content with who I am and where I am, and be grateful for the small things.

Here are 10 steps you can use to be happier:

1. Acknowledge and accept your lack of control. Often, we try to control everything around us, from the people in our lives to the schedules we obey. Let go of the need to control everything and embrace each moment for what it is.

2. Material possessions do not lead to happiness. A bigger TV or fancier car or bigger house or more money is not going to make you happier. While having enough money to meet your needs can keep stresses at bay that make you unhappy, often it is recognizing how very little we actually need that makes it easier to see how little we must have to be happy.

3. Suspend judgment on others. Often, when we judge others unfairly, it is because we recognize in them a fault we see in ourselves. Believe in the best intentions of others, give others the benefit of the doubt, and do not judge others.

4. Roll with the changes. Life changes. Circumstances change. Our own goals and objectives in life change as our perceptions change. Where we lose our way is when we fight against the force of change instead of bending with it. Embrace the changes that life brings you and see the adventure in it.

5. Seek silence. We are surrounded by a never before seen level of chaos. While technology can be a tool that makes our lives easier and more enjoyable, we often become a slave to it. Turn off phones, laptops, tablets, computers, ebooks, tvs, radios, lights, and other electronics and enjoy moments of silent wonder.

6. Breathe. Take five seconds and focus on nothing but drawing in a deep, fulfilling breath and letting it out. Do this as often as you are able and especially when you are feeling pressured, anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed. Breathing is the release valve your body needs to stay balanced and the moment your mind needs to achieve clarity.

7. I recently saw a quote that said, “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future.” To be happy, you must be living in the NOW. Take the time to appreciate this moment of your life without worrying about what has happened or what will happen.

8. Be your most compassionate self. Do nice things for others just because. Bite your tongue rather than say mean spirited things. Tap into the love and joy you have experienced in your life and share it with the world.

9. Meditate. Reserve time for yourself in which you can shut out all other thoughts and pressures and simply be. Quiet your mind, focus on a singular sound or focal point, and rest your mind.

10. Believe in yourself and your path. Things happen for a reason. People come in and out of our lives and connect with us and we gain something or give something during each connection. Move through your life with the faith and confidence that it is the right path for you, that you have the power to change directions when you need to, and that when you do make changes, they are the right ones for you.