Getting Real With Lisa Van De Graaff

Last week, I received darshan from Amma. Amma is a living Hindu saint, an incarnation of the Divine Mother. She delivers her blessing with an embrace, a hug unlike any hug I’ve ever experienced.

While I don’t consider myself to be a devotee or follower of Amma, I am absolutely certain that her message of unconditional love and compassion is an authentic expression of her purpose in this life. I also have a deep respect for her humanitarian work, and I am inspired by her to do all that I can to leave my small corner of the world in better condition and more beautiful than I found it.

As I was waiting to receive darshan, I meditated and set an intention for the hug. I knew she would give me what I needed, regardless of my desires, because she is the ultimate mother. I couldn’t help myself though, and I made a wish. I wished for her guidance in being a good mother.

As I approached her, on my knees and offering flowers, she pulled me to her breast and chanted in my ear. She held me tight, and I felt her all around me, inside of me – I could feel her in my heart. I felt stripped down to my core, the absolute truth of me, and I cried. She let me go with a shower of rose petals, and I was enveloped by the sweet, loving, scent of roses.

I sat for several minutes after Amma’s embrace – I was a jumble of emotions, confused, crying, and trembling. Then I felt it. I felt that kernel of myself, my truth. I felt that deep inside I am a nurturer. I felt my capacity for empathy. I felt a blissful moment of absolute certainty that not only am I on the right path for my life with my choice to become a mother, but that I have all I need to help my child find her own inner truth.

And several days later, I can still smell the roses.