View from the Dragonfly’s Back
MomsGetReal Soul Feeder Chris Wilcox
Last week, my sister and I drove from Boise, ID to Fort Worth, TX, and back. Saturday of one week to Sunday of the next. In the middle of that, a fabulous team of movers showed up to pack my life up, put it on trucks, and hauled everything we didn’t have room to carry with us here.
I *thought* that I had gone through the house and gotten everything that I needed when I packed the three suitcases of clothes and other things that I wanted with me. I *thought* that I was prepared to temporarily crash at my sister’s house here until my new house was ready. I made it 4 days.
Cut to this morning.
I found one ballet flat packed in my roller bag. I found one loafer in the bin I put all my shoes in. I found a second loafer in a different bin but they were for the same foot. I did not find my hair dryer, or my favorite makeup palette, favorite earrings, or – silly me – my medication or my contacts.
After finding my one favorite, never-wrinkles-no-matter-what dress and determining that my boots weren’t going to cut it today, I slipped on my summer sandals, looked outside at the gray, cloudy sky with a cautious eye, and slipped out the door for work just as the sun was rising.
And as I was driving to work, I felt like having a meltdown. And I know exactly where it came from.
If we flash back to the 32 year old version of me, I can tell you that I would lose my mind if I lost or forgot something. I would stomp and storm around the house, berating myself and anyone who dared cross my path (dogs or husband – now an ex-husband), slamming doors until I was satisfied that I had punished everyone within earshot with the storm of my ridiculous tirade.
I know now that was just arrogance. But the stomping and storming to get out the frustration? I’m feeling that just a little bit today.
Here’s what I know: I’m both the girl who wants to be more zen and the girl who wants to fly around like a banshee when I can’t find something. My thoughts of recognizing all the things I’ve forgotten amid some of the senseless things I did bring with me between yesterday and today have drained my energy.
And I’m feeling the need to be a little bit crazy to get my energy back.
