The relationships moms have with their children is complex and rewarding. Having a child is always a profound experience, but for Amalia Starr, the journey has been especially life-changing. We’re so grateful to Amalia for sharing her story with us here.
It is hard to believe that my son, Brandon is almost thirty-eight. We have been through a lot. There were so many times I felt like giving up and felt beaten down, but my love for my son kept me going. Brandon has taught me so much and these are just a few of the lessons and tools I learned while raising him:
1. Don’t listen to others when they say your child can’t do something.
2. Always trust your instincts and trust your heart.
3. Be respectful, especially when you think it doesn’t matter.
4. Being different can be beautiful.
5. Encouragement builds self-esteem.
6. Always listen to the silence in between the words.
7. Having and giving support helps to soothe the soul.
8. Taking care of yourself first gives you the strength to carry on.
9. Gratitude is a powerful tonic.
10. Hope and believing will take you through any storm.
11. Kindness is not a luxury, it is a necessity.
12. Never giving up is key.
13. ACCEPTANCE is the Answer!
There is no other way I would have learned all these wonderful tools and lessons, if it weren’t for the love I have for my son. Not only has he made me a better person, he has given me a purpose. I always knew as a young child that I would become a speaker, but I never knew what the subject would be. Because of Brandon, I am an Autism Motivational Speaker, and I love what I do.
I cannot thank my son enough for silently demanding that I grow and change every step of the way. He made me see life through his eyes and taught me to how to dig deep within, and be creative, and think outside the box. Yes, it took time to see the good and to be able to switch from feeling negative to being positive. But once I surrendered and accepted my son just as he was, our relationship completely changed for the better.
please help! my son has a 1yr son and a 4yr old autistic son…we r not sure about the 1yr old yet..he is having server marriage problems..but it is his wife that wants to leave and leave the kids with him..he wants his sons 4 sure..he is a working man..works hard and tired…how is he gonna do this…im his mom and disabled and the 4yr old is almost to much 4 me…can he get help with daycare or maybe a childcare should come 2 house cause i dont no how autistic doesn n daycare? he does goto his school n mornings what a hardship this may b..bu the loves his sons and i commend him for hanging n there…im so mad @his wife..how can she leave her babies?
Jo,
I’m sorry for what your son is going through. There is help available. He should start by calling the local school district and asking to speak to their director of special education. The public schools have early intervention services in place to begin helping the children even before kindergarten. They will also be able to refer your son to additional resources and community agencies who can help. In New York, we have several different community agencies that offer services for kids with disabilities; I am confident these same types of groups exist where you are. There are so many resources available – your son and his kids will be ok.