Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

That is the question. One that I get asked a lot actually. My children will be 2 and a half years apart and since Hallie is still clinging to “titties” at nap time and bed time, tandem-nursing is a real possibility. So will I share my boobs with two different children? My initial response is to cringe a little. The touched-out feeling is real some days with just one! But it’s not a decision I feel comfortable making right now.

I’ve talked a lot about my breastfeeding journey with my daughter, Hallie, and it hasn’t been easy. Assumptions that led to decisions that led to changed minds have brought us to where we are and what I consider to be best for my child. Regardless of the idea that I HAD to wean at age 1, here we are at age 2. Hallie still asks often and continues to need redirection from breastfeeding. Will she be weaned by the time the next child is born? Maybe. I’m not holding my breath, though.

Even if Hallie is weaned, the possibility of wanting to nurse again is more likely than not. Another baby is going to be taking her titties? I can just imagine Hallie’s toddler version of “oh hell nah”. The last thing I want to do is breed resentment between my first and second children. And personally, if Hallie asks to nurse as she watches another baby do what she really treasured, I’m going to have a hard time saying no.

I could be The Parent. Whatever that means. I could lay down the law and tell Hallie she is too old and that this is for the new baby now. I could distract her with candy and toys and all the things that the new baby can’t have. Or… in a matter that is not life or death or a critical developmental milestone, I could let her lead the way. If I felt strongly about weaning, my answer would be different. If Hallie was older my answer might be different. But I can only make decisions based on where Hallie and I are at right now.

Whether I tandem-nurse will be up to Hallie. If Hallie asks, I will say yes to tandem-nursing. Will I be the poster child for tandem-nursing with one child per boob? I wouldn’t place bets. But I will let Hallie continue to breastfeed if that is what she needs. There will be boundaries, and Hallie will have to learn that the new baby will need priority in terms of titties. At the very least, it will be a great lesson in sharing.