Getting Real with Kira Hazledine
I don’t think how I realized how much crying there would be in motherhood, and I’m not just talking late nights with newborns and toddler tantrums. I’ve done my fair share of crying as a mom and I wasn’t prepared for this emotional roller coaster. If you’re feeling like you shouldn’t be crying, just remember this about motherhood:
- You’re doing awesome – Yes. You. Despite all those tears. You may be a mom but you’re still allowed to cry. Everybody cries at every age and having children doesn’t magically take away those emotions. So even when you’re sitting in the shower crying or hiding in the pantry with a spoonful of frosting, you just let those tears out. You’re doing amazing.
- It’s ok to let your kids see you cry – It’s good to let your kids see you cry. Emotions are heavy, especially for little ones, and there is absolutely no shame in a few tears. If your kids can see that it’s safe for you to let your tears fall, they will do the same with theirs. It will promote honesty and vulnerability in your relationship, which will pay off as your kids get older.
- You have things to cry about – Oh, you have many things to cry about. Adulthood is rough and toss parenting in there? Yeah. Lots of reasons to cry. Even if it feels as insignificant as an argument that you’ve had with a two-year-old every day for weeks, it’s ok to hit a breaking point.
- There are also a ton of reasons to smile – It does get as corny as the rainbow after the rainstorm. A good cry will make you feel better and then you might be able to see things a bit clearer. There are a lot of frustrating moments, but each can be countered by moments of happiness with your babies.
- It’s ok to ask for help – If you think that your tears are more than just momentary, ask for help. Mothers are not immune from depression either, and even if you never experienced something like post-partum depression with a first child doesn’t mean you can’t experience it with a second. Just like there is no shame in crying, there is no shame in admitting when you can’t cope on your own. You aren’t alone.
There will be more tears than you ever anticipated, and you’ll cry for a million reasons. You’ll cry at the birth of each child. You’ll cry at their first day of school. You’ll cry at what you see as your own failures and what you see as their successes. You’ll cry for them and you’ll cry with them. You’ll cry for no reason at all. Luckily, it’s perfectly ok. Mothers have a lot to worry about, and a few tears aren’t worth the stress. Wipe your eyes and move on, and believe that it will all turn out alright.