Getting Real with Shadra Bruce

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Blending a family is no easy task. As much as you may want your partner’s child or children to accept you, it can be a slow process. Some children are ready and want a new parent in the household, but others may resist. It’s important to not only keep things in perspective but understand that a resistant child may have struggles that have little to do with you personally.

An unfortunate aspect of stepparenting is that before you, there was another primary adult in the child’s life. That person may or may not still be in the child’s life, but regardless, you are a clear sign that the child’s biological parents no longer have a romantic relationship. Whatever baggage may come with that certainly varies, but it is difficult nonetheless. A stepchild who is rejecting your overtures of friendship has their own reasons that likely reflect less who you are and more what you stand for.

This is not the time to convince yourself that your new stepchild will hate you forever. It is a moment for you to be respectful and allow the child to come to terms with the unfolding situation. If you plan on being an important person in their life, bulldozing your way in is not the answer. Give your stepkids the space and recognition they need, and allow them to have their feelings. With unconditional love, regard, and support they will discover that you are not so wicked after all.

Get Stories from a StepMom and learn more about avoiding the wicked title.