Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

If you weren’t already health conscious, pregnancy makes you reconsider every single thing that you put into your body. The list of what a pregnant woman can’t eat is long enough to make me cry, and that’s without considering all the healthy things I’m supposed to be eating. Not to mention the pressure of the scale every time you walk into your OB’s office, which gets much more frequent the further along you get in your pregnancy. When pregnancy is confirmed, a specialty diet begins, and it’s the worst diet ever. Here’s a simple breakdown of how easy it is to eat while pregnant.

  • Don’t eat deli meat – Craving a turkey sandwich? Sucks. Can’t have it. No roast beef for you, mama. And don’t even think of looking at the bologna. Luckily, this rule is a tad outdated and most OBs have caught up with the times. If your source is trusted, and you take it from meat counter to fridge (or sandwich artist to mouth) you should be good to go.
  • Don’t eat nitrates – Are hotdogs considered deli meat? I have no idea, but a ballpark hotdog is not supposed to be good for you. Well, my first child survived my mini-corn dog cravings. It can’t be that bad, right?
  • Eat all the salad – Except romaine. That nasty listeria outbreak is really making me trust the hot dogs before I’ll trust a salad. Yes, vegetables are good for me and my growing baby but really, it’s such a drag. Can’t salads be bacon flavored?
  • Eat what doesn’t make you want to puke – Some women don’t have this problem, and for others, the list is very short. Whatever baby wants, baby gets. With my first we played a bargaining game where if we didn’t puke salad, we would be rewarded with Doritos. It worked sometimes. So eat what you can stomach.
  • Don’t consume too much caffeine – Dedicated to your morning coffee? Better hope all you need is two cups to get you through the day, because that is all that’s recommended. Or switch to decaf, and then you can have a bit more. Also, if you’re a chocolate lover, you’ll need to balance that with the coffee. Chocolate has more caffeine than people think, but who’s going to tell a pregnant woman to put down the chocolate?
  • Fish in moderation – Tuna made me want to hurl my last pregnancy, but this time around I’m doing ok. Still, you’re supposed to limit fish intake to seafood only low in mercury, and only once a week. Sushi will depend on who you ask, but again, if it’s what baby wants… Just make sure your source is reputable and you’re not binge eating on raw fish every day.
  • Eat all organic – you wouldn’t want to poison your baby with those nasty GMOs and other chemicals before they are even born! Or, you could just keep eating what you usually eat. Because really, once this baby is born, we are not going organic. Mama doesn’t have that kind of paycheck. Better get used to those GMOs in utero.
  • No sugar – Gasp. This would really kill me for nine months. Good thing I don’t listen to that at all. I do try and not eat a pint of ice cream every day, but shit happens. This also means cutting out things like soda, which I don’t drink anyways. Except for when the baby wants a Pepsi. And mozzarella sticks. My babies love that combination and I don’t really know why, but I won’t question it.

Really, this list could go on and on. The rules vary depending on the OB and the nosy person you’re talking to. Hopefully, your OB is strictly worried about your health. Sure, you want fast foods and whatnot in moderation, but don’t go crazy and deprive yourself. A healthy baby requires a happy mama, and sometimes Taco Bell and a lot of ice cream is what makes mama happy. If you ever question the food, don’t eat it, but feel free to ask your OB all the questions about what is safe for you to eat during pregnancy. Hopefully they are up-to-date and don’t try to deny you a sandwich.