Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

Hello, friends. Are you here to join me on my corn-filled rant? Ok good, because here we go.

Maybe it was all the Doritos I ate in pregnancy. Those savory and salt cravings were no joke. Or it could have been the many mini-corn dogs I consumed. And I’m aware of all the nitrates, but really, I’m sure it’s fine. Except for the corn allergy.

For the longest time my doctor and I thought it was my gall bladder. That’s what it looked like, but after pregnancy, who the hell knows what your body looks like? I don’t think anyone really does. There’s a wide birth of “symptoms” and postpartum whatnots, and there is practically no answer for any of us moms. So where does this leave me? With a flipping corn allergy.

Initially I had acid reflux (thank you hormones) which were causing an overreactive gall bladder. Once we fixed the acid reflux problem, then I was left with this fun (horrible) pain every time I ate Doritos. Or tacos. Or Cheetos. Or a Big Breakfast with Hot Cakes from McDonald’s. Sure as hell, after a million different tests, we came across a mild corn allergy. Uhm, it feels anything but mild to be, but ok.

What does this mean for my life now?

Well I can still have corn. Yup, that’s where it gets exciting. I can have regular corn, and even enjoy some tasty cornbread. But then we get into sketchy territory, where corn has been chemically altered. You know, everything that makes life delicious. Exciting terms like maltodextrin and modified food starch are now on my radar, because you know what’s in those? Corn. I’m just thankful that it’s only a mild allergy, because corn is in EVERYTHING. No seriously. Absolutely everything. And it’s one of those allergies that isn’t really talked about. I would have an easier time with a gluten allergy, and that’s saying something.

What I can’t have is anything with corn that has been deep fried or altered in some way. McDonald’s hotcakes are made with corn. Sweet Baby Ray’s barbecue sauce has modified food starch, made of corn. Obviously, I avoid the nachos, but it’s items like the hotcakes and barbecue sauce that really throw me for a loop. I have to investigate everything, because you just don’t know. And in the US, corn doesn’t have to be listed as an allergen. So lucky.

Well, that was my rant. My daughter has altered my diet for the healthier, but I’m still irritated. I miss Cheetos. I miss Pringles. I miss deep-fried corn dogs fresh from the fair. But alas, I have a corn allergy.