View from the Dragonfly’s Back
MomsGetReal Soul Feeder Chris Wilcox
2014 has arrived in all its glory, and I – being so forgetful – have reread just about everything I posted last year.
All I can say to that is, “Damn, I had such good intentions.” 😉 I really did. I thought that my plan to stay focused was a good one, that I would proceed in my Zen-like state to the amazement and astonishment of all around me and keep landing time after time in my invisible jet, red boots firmly planted, golden eagle gleaming on my otherwise red bustier, and I would finally show Superman how to make that quiche without having a soggy crust.
I could launch into a future-looking state of how busy 2014 is going to be, how I need to keep grounded and be heart-forward rather than logic-centric if I’m going to thrive, but you know what I’m hearing in my head?
And my dragonfly said it, too.
You know what I learned last year from trying to be Wonder Woman? I take life waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously when I don’t allow myself to wander into punchline territory with my sarcasm dictionary tucked under my arm.
Now, to understand the full weight of this revelation, we need to jump in the time traveling DeLorean and set the dial for about October 2007. At this point, I was stuffed to the gills with guru works. I was studying said gurus with an attention previously only offered to my hair from 1985 – 1993. I had watched The Secret. I had even read Eat, Pray, Love for the love of God. I was fully prepared to have my liver smile on a daily basis. (Okay – confession – I don’t remember if that was in the book but I know for sure it was in the movie).
And I was miserable. I wasn’t miserable because I was doing anything particularly wrong. I was miserable mostly because I thought I needed to change who I was to “be” happy, but ditching that persona didn’t allow me to deal with what was making me unhappy in the first place. It was putting silk sheets on a straw bed… nothing I could do would make it more comfortable.
Around that time, I arrived at this theory that gurus were usually cloud sitters. You know those people who tell you on some level you need to be able to separate yourself from the fray and realize you’re a spiritual being having a human experience, so you can just let all this human-ness go on around you and sit on your cloud? THAT’S a cloud sitter.
What I’ve come to realize is that while the cloud sitters have a very peaceful persona – very few of them seem to be laughing their asses off on a daily basis. And I want to laugh. Life isn’t about being miserable or seeing how much pain we can put ourselves through. I don’t know about you, but I am at my best, most productive, most confident and happiest when I’m having fun, so I’m ditching the crap that makes me feel way too serious. Life itself brings enough serious to the party. I’m going to sort through it and learn from it and then figure out what I need to hang onto and what I need to let go.