Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

We just announced our second pregnancy, and we couldn’t be more excited. Yay! Too bad my feelings were mixed when that pregnancy test was positive.

I remember being so excited with my first born. Everything was new and interesting! Even the morning sickness I found joy in, because it reassured me that my little baby was growing strong. This second pregnancy? Nothing like my first, and it’s scaring the crap out of me. I thought I would be less nervous! I’ve been here before, right? Well, kind of.

My symptoms are completely different.

From the very first moment I sensed I could be pregnant, I didn’t feel like I did with my daughter. With Hallie, my boobs hurt so much and I was sleeping about 12 hours a night. Now, I honestly don’t know how my boobs feel half the time with a toddler hanging off them, and I’m lucky to get 6 hours of sleep a night. Being tired is nothing new.

I was also sick all the time with Hallie. I could barely stomach every meal, and snacks were always in my hand to prevent another round of nausea. This time, I get a bit nauseous, but only as a warning sign. Like “mom, you better eat right NOW or else.” I’m STARVING. I can’t stop eating, and I’m actually a tad bit worried about weight gain. Chicken wings dipped in some nacho cheese? Yeah, pass that right over.

My doctors aren’t as concerned.

I am so blessed to have had a healthy first pregnancy. However, this means that my provider doesn’t really care if they don’t see me until 12 weeks. 12 weeks is so long to wait. How do I know everything is ok in there?! Rationally, my mind will tell me that there is nothing a doctor can do for me within that 12 weeks anyways, and I’ve been through this all before. We got this, uterus, right? Sure. All I can do is trust my body.

Am I even ready for this?!

Where there was so much excitement for my baby girl, there is a little more anxiety with this second child. Will I still have time for Hallie? Will I have time for me?? I don’t have time for me now, oh god, what have we done? How will I chase a toddler when I’m the size of a cruise ship? My husband and I wonder what we have gotten ourselves into, and then the excitement starts in again and those anxieties are shushed.

I have honestly no idea how we will handle two little gremlins rolling around, but I am still very excited for another child to keep me on my toes. I’m interested to see how my pregnancy will progress from here, and I’m sure there will be more differences to come. Regardless, I’m happy, and I can’t wait to meet our new addition.