Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

I had never ever heard of a push present until I was pregnant with my first, and it floats around online birth boards every now and again. I feel like moms fall into three categories:

  • A push present is a must-have because a human is coming out of your vagina and you deserve it.
  • The human coming out of your vagina IS your push present.
  • Do what you want because it literally doesn’t matter.

Before I get into what I consider to be an oddity, let’s talk about what a push present is.

A push present, typically given by the significant other, is a present specifically for the occasion of giving birth. Like, “Yay, you successfully completed this pregnancy and gave birth to a human. Here’s a present.”

Uh, ok. Fair enough. Pregnancy is hard. Labor and delivery is hard. I honestly don’t even want to think about labor and delivery as my third trimester approaches, so I guess maybe a push present would give me something to look forward to. At the same time, it sounds ridiculous to me. I just want a healthy baby.

I also have a hard time demanding a gift for a choice that I made. I chose to be pregnant. I chose to carry this child, and subsequently, give birth to this child. It has to come out eventually. For those that are experiencing an “oops” maybe they feel differently. But my baby being born is something that I’m very excited about. I don’t need a gift to commemorate the occasion.

And heaven forbid something were to go wrong? Birthing is serious business. Let’s focus on getting a healthy child and healthy mama, and less about what else you can get from all this.

I fall somewhere between considering the new human a push present and doing whatever the hell you want, because at the end of the day, it’s your life. It just seems so unnecessary. Your significant other isn’t pregnant, but they have a lot to worry about too! My husband is always nervous for my health and the baby’s health. Together, as the partners that we are, we have a lot of concerns about prep and making sure everything is ready. If I were to ask for a gift on top of everything else that comes with labor and a newborn, it just feels selfish. Am I going to request a subsequent gift for each child’s birthday? “You may be celebrating a birthday kid but this is the day you tore through my vagina so. I get a gift too.”

I don’t need a push present, and in my opinion, they’re a tad unnecessary. The real gift is the new addition to the family, and then the real MVP is the first person to hold the baby so I can shower in peace. Those are the kind of gifts that are important to me after labor. Maybe even a beer. Like good job. You birthed a human. Have a shot. If we can get those type of push presents mainstream, you’ll earn my vote for them.