Getting Real With Shadra Bruce

Our biggest fear at having a ten-year age difference between our first set of kids (the ones Dave started making without me) and our second set of kids was that we didn’t want the younger ones to catch the disease of teen cynicism too early in life. Having older kids and younger kids at the same time was challenging. They never liked the same movies, never were on the same school schedules, and unless you’ve had a terrible two tantrum thrower and a teen attitude hit you all at the same time, why you just have not lived.

But there was an up side. Not only was our daughter, Kira, an excellent babysitter and helper with her little siblings, but she took an active role in their lives. The older boys did not share her enthusiasm for learning how to change diapers or feed babies, but they spent time playing and bonding with their younger siblings, keeping them entertained. Of course, Kira’s perspective is different now that she is in her 20s (you know, the stage when your kids realize you’re only one step away from senility and they know so much more than you). She moans and groans about all the babysitting she had to do (forgetting that we at least paid her for her time!)

The hardest part about having the two generations of kids, however, is the holidays. The older kids were too old to trick-or-treat by the time the youngest could enjoy it, and that teen cynicism was in full force around Christmas and Easter. Rather than ruin it for the younger kids or be disappointed at the attention that goes to the younger crowd during the holidays, we included our older kids in the planning and more behind-the-scenes activities. Including them not only kept them from feeling like the entire season was focused on the younger generation but hopefully helped to prepare them for their own eventual parental duties.

The secret to keeping older kids involved during the holidays is to keep them involved in the fun and show them the magic that continues to exist even after the curtain is pulled back and the wizard is revealed.