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Breastfeeding On Motherhood Toddlers

I Need Answers to Weaning a Toddler That I Actually Want

At least during the day, these boobs are not open for business, whether my toddler likes it or not. 

Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

I’ve talked about my failed attempts at weaning and my new-found desire to actually win at this weaning game. So far, so good (sort of) because the progress we have made is enough for me to call it a win. However, the credit of this success will not be given to any lactation specialists or professionals. Thank you for the advice, but it’s been no help.

When I was initially asking advice in weaning, I followed all the rules and recommendations. We dropped a feeding once a week, and I even held off longer if I thought Hallie was stressed at all. We took months to wean her during the day, only to have Hallie kick back and change her mind when I became a work-at-home mom. I have all that great information. Now I need the information that will help when my child is screaming bloody-murder for “titties.” When my child won’t sleep without nursing. When my child wants to nurse simply because that’s what she wants to do, and no distraction will help.

I want answers that are actually relevant to weaning a toddler whom has more opinions than an infant. I want something beyond “when your child is ready” because for my child, that could be school age. While that may work for some, this breastfeeding relationship is over. As in “It’s not you, it’s me”, and “I think we should see other people”. I love my toddler to pieces, and I’ve loved breastfeeding, but Hallie’s toddler antics have made breastfeeding not as much fun as it used to be.

So here we are, and the best advice I’ve gotten is from moms who have been where I’m at. The constant distractions and the offering of Cheetos and chocolate that would probably concern my pediatrician. Avoiding showing my child her “titties” and wearing clothes that Hallie can’t access. The fact that I actually have to leave the house for someone other than myself to put Hallie to sleep at night. Luckily, we aren’t as concerned with night weaning, but goodness. The girl is persistent.

Weaning is much easier this time than it was a few months ago. I really believe that Hallie is more ready now than she was then. I also believe that she was choosing to breastfeed rather than eat meals, because she won’t stop eating now. I’m confident I’ve made the right choice, but it did not come without tears. I thought I was taking something away from Hallie, but she loves me just the same.

When it comes to weaning a toddler, it’s not as easy as weaning an infant. I really wish more professionals would recognize that the longer you breastfeed, the more opinions your child has. The longer you breastfeed, the harder it is to maintain a relationship with yourself beyond motherhood. It works for some, but not others. I will never regret breastfeeding Hallie for as long as we did, especially because we still do so at night. I just wish there were better answers, because at least during the day, these boobs are not open for business, whether Hallie likes it or not.

4 replies on “I Need Answers to Weaning a Toddler That I Actually Want”

The thing that worked for me was limiting it to bedtime only first, the. telling her way before her 2nd birthday that when she turns 2 mommy won’t have any more milk. She seemed to like having the timeline, she’d ask “how much longer will mommy have milk?” Then on her 2nd birthday she told me “mommy doesn’t have any more milk!” Sounds crazy but it worked for us. I couldn’t have waited until she weaned on her own bc she seemed like she would’ve kept going for years if I let her.

Thank you for sharing your experience! I imagine that I will have to do something similar with Hallie, because she is also a child who would breastfeed as often and for as long as I let her. “Only bedtime” works for her for now, but I’m curious if the timeline will help. Definitely worth a try! The worst she can do is say no, and I’m expecting some tears no matter what.

– Kira

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