Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

The amount of parenting rules is almost more exhausting than parenting itself. Almost. Everyone’s got an opinion, and I’ll admit that I get on my own high-horse every now and again. However, I try to check myself with important questions like these:

  • Is the child healthy? Looks like it.
  • Is the child loved? From what I can tell.
  • Is any harm coming to anyone else? Nope (looking at you anti-vaxxers)
  • Is it any of my damn business? Probs not.

See how simple that was? So even if I have a shred of doubt that I should poke my nose into someone else’s parenting, I can check my thoughts before I make an ass out of myself. I try really hard not to disrespect another parent who’s trying their hardest to get things right.

Which is why I don’t care at all what people think about my toddler using a bottle at 2 and a half years old. I’ll bring that bad boy out in public, too, along with my boob if I absolutely must. No shame happening here. My breastfed baby girl also loves her bottle, and I’m going to let her have it as long as she damn well pleases.


Because I don’t have a real reason not to. Other than some judgmental craphead being worried about something that’s not their business.

My toddler’s speech? Absolutely fantastic. She asks me why all day long and gives me attitude in clear, perfect sentences with angsty quotes from Frozen. No worries.

Her teeth? They look great. Most dentists aren’t concerned about things like thumb-sucking, pacifiers, and bottles until about four years old. We have a solid year and a half before I need to be concerned. By that time, she might have ditched the bottle on her own.

Does she look or act like a baby? Uh, no. My two year old is in 4T clothes. I promise you, she’s not being mistaken for a small child. In fact, she’s probably getting more judgment because people think I’m letting an even older child use a bottle. Even if I was, shocker, it’s still none of your business.

I’m not going to create a problem where one doesn’t exist. I sucked my thumb until I was 7 and carried a dirty pillowcase around until it was pried from my tiny child fingers. Every child has their source of comfort and a bottle happens to be what my toddler uses.

She doesn’t rely on it. She can go hours without her bottle, but when she’s upset, it’s what she asks for. When she’s getting ready for bed, she uses it to relax herself. At least it’s not my boob, ok? I got real tired of her gnawing on my nipples all day long, so we’ve cut that off to limited and scheduled sessions. But her bottle? It’s available upon request.

So let’s just toss the bottle use into the pile of things that aren’t your business. It’s not a big deal, I promise. We’ll all be ok, and hopefully you can find something better to concern yourself with.