Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

There are a million different books on articles on what to expect from motherhood. I am 100% sure that I have experienced a few things that no one has mentioned, and it makes me feel like an oddball. Some stuff I’ve been able to uncover through vigorous googling, but other happenings have left me stumped.

I know I talked before about postpartum craziness that people don’t like to mention, but this conversation is a little bit different. These are the weird things that have nothing to do with post-delivery, but everything to do with a baby having wreaked havoc on you physically, emotionally, and hormonal-ly.

  • Nipple scabs – What in the world? I guess if I had thought long enough about it, I would have concluded that when something bleeds it scabs. So, when lactation specialists mentioned bleeding or cracked nipples, a scab would be an expected consequence. But I didn’t have bleeding nipples when Hallie and I were learning to breastfeed. My nipple problems came late in the game, and I did not appreciate the scab on my nipple. It’s just weird. And it won’t go away. We’re pals forever, I guess.
  • Gall bladder problems (I think) – I used to be able to eat a large pizza by myself in one sitting with no consequences. Now, I have to be very careful with my diet, and this is not just about me getting older. My postpartum self rejected any food that touched any type of oil for several months, leaving doctors stumped and me crippled after an innocent fish filet, or even a few Doritos. My own research tells me this is likely a side effect of a change in hormones, so that’s exciting. I don’t have visible gall stones, and although I do have an over-active gall bladder, it’s not enough to take the damn thing out. So now, with the help of antacids, I can enjoy most food, but only in moderation. Mexican food however, is a no go. RIP taco Tuesday.
  • “Mom Bangs” – This one I came across by accident on a social media feed, and I was thrilled that other moms were noticing what I was. I kept asking my husband, Louis, if my hair was always this out of control. I’ve got a million short pieces of hair that poke up EVERYWHERE. This is what happens after the great postpartum hair loss, when all that hair tries to grow back. As if my hair wasn’t a mess before pregnancy?
  • Itchy armpits when breastfeeding – This is probably the weirdest one I’ve noticed, and I haven’t met any moms who have experienced the same. Luckily, this doesn’t happen as often now that Hallie has gotten older, but my armpits would itch like crazy as soon as she latched on. I would also itch when pumping, and I couldn’t tell you why. Just one of those things, I guess. It will strike every now and again, leaving me furiously scratching at my armpits while Hallie is trying to eat. Super convenient, and not weird at all.

Mom life is always an adventure. What weird changes in your body have you noticed after pregnancy?