Getting Real With Veronic Ibarra
My daughter is very fond at age 7 to point out how unfair everything is around our house. It isn’t fair that she has to clean up the toys in the living room when she didn’t make all the mess. It isn’t fair that she has to feed the cats. It isn’t fair that she can’t go outside until her chores are done. It isn’t fair that we can’t go where she wants. It isn’t fair that she can’t have as much as an adult. It just isn’t fair.
Apparently her idea of fair is getting her way or everyone getting the same amount, but that isn’t how fairness works.
Fairness is when everyone plays by the same rules, but in order for that to happen everyone has to understand the rules and possess the same skill level. Explaining the rules of the house to my 7 year old daughter is easier than explaining them to my 3 year old son. Getting my daughter to understand that her brother does not understand is an hourly challenge. One of my favorites is when my daughter tries to argue that the cats aren’t following the rules either. Yeah, that one will always be unfair.
I know what it’s like to be treated unfairly. I mean, I rarely make any of the messes in the house, yet I have to make sure all of them are cleaned. I hardly have any opportunity to play with the toys, yet I have to put away all of the children’s toys. Why should I have to help with things I didn’t do? It is unfair.
It’s like in Labyrinth. Sarah keeps saying it isn’t fair every time something doesn’t work out the way she thought or worse changes from what it was to something completely different. But it can’t be fair. Nobody is following the same rules, and even those that are can’t always manage to follow through.
My 3 year old understands when we are putting toys in the toy box, and he’ll help get that done. However, once all the toys are back in the toy box the obvious thing to do for him is to take them all back out. My daughter then goes into her tirade about how it’s unfair that we have to start all over. I can’t say I disagree, but we take a deep breath and go at it again. All the while the cats peek lazily at us from their napping spots. Yeah, it isn’t fair.
