Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

According to the Mayo Clinic, the average length of labor for a woman can vary from hours to days. DAYS. Wtf. Days?! It hurts my entire mind, heart, and soul to think about being in labor for days. I’ve talked to several women who labored for two to four days before actually giving birth to a child. I’m sorry, but I would hold a grudge against my child for at least a few days. What kind of nonsense is that? GTFO. You’ve had 9 months to figure it out.

I clearly have very little understanding of what it’s like to go into labor naturally, despite this being my second pregnancy. My first pregnancy was a scheduled induction, because my little gremlin was showing no signs of progress. I was 41 weeks and had never had a contraction. I had those Braxton hicks things, but mine were never painful. Just like, oh hey, your uterus is tightening in a completely non-threatening manner. I wasn’t dilated. There were no green lights for childbirth.

So they scheduled an induction. I had an appointment and there was very little stress involved. I would show up to the hospital and one way or another, I was leaving with a baby. There was no timing of contractions or wondering each night I went to bed if we would be rushing to the hospital at 3am.

I was still thrown a curve ball when the induction went much faster than anyone anticipated. I was only in labor for 2 hours. Now, I will admit it was not a pleasant two hours and I probably tore for a few reasons, one of which is that my body had zero time to process what was happening. But really, I would do it all over again to avoid being in labor for days. I was in a controlled environment and there was no rush to do anything other than birth a baby. And seriously? Days? What do you even do with yourself? Women that are in labor that long are my heroes.

So. What if I go into labor naturally? I promise you I’ll be freaking out. The timing of contractions, the rush to the hospital that is 30 minutes away, the “what-if” of having a baby in the car. All of these thoughts are already running through my mind at 20 weeks pregnant. I know every labor is different, but they say you go faster with the second. Uhm. That’s not enough time friends.

We will see how things go. I’ll talk to my doctor and my family, and we will come up with a plan that hopefully involves not having birth in my bathroom or on the side of the highway. I do know that babies have a way of coming on their own terms, so regardless of what I think should happen, I better buckle up. I’ll just be over here wondering how women cope with labor for days and crossing my fingers for a happy-medium. My birth plan has been reduced to making it to the hospital, and beyond another scheduled induction, it’s really all I can hope for.