Getting Real With Shadra Bruce

When you finally decide to trust that your child (or children) won’t burn the house down it can be a big step for the whole family. As a parent, the anxiety can be enormous, but your kids will more than likely be thrilled with the responsibility/freedom. It’s important, however, to establish ground rules and a clear understanding that the kids don’t have free reign.

Leaving our kids alone for the first time resulted in so many additional gray hairs I should have invested in Garnier. The list of emergency numbers we left them was as big as a phone book. Ground rules do help. Ours included:

  • Absolutely no leaving the premises
  • Cookies and other similar foods are not an acceptable meal
  • If you wouldn’t do it with us here, don’t do it with us not here
  • NO ANSWERING THE DOOR or peeking to see who is there
  • Always answer the phone (because every five minutes, it’s likely to be us) – this is much easier now that everyone has cell phones
  • Never tell anyone we’re not home

Many of these rules came about because they did these things. They never left the house without our permission, but cookies (and candy, if it was around) disappeared like magic. It wasn’t until Parker had a Facebook account that we even realized how scary it was to see the kids announce our departure. In all innocence, they were just excited, but it resulted in an immediate call to delete the post.

These are simple rules for the most part, but they are not always easy to follow. Not every child is ready to be left home alone at the same age. Kira was ready at 9; Derek wasn’t really ready at 11. Parker has always been good about being home alone, but leaving him and his sister together took time, patience, and several short practice trips.

It is an important step to take with your kids when they – and you – are ready. Not only is it wonderful to reach the point where you can run to the store without packing up the entire clan, but date nights get a lot easier.

Some states have laws about the age at which you are allowed to leave your children alone. Be sure you know the laws in your state.