I had just gotten done getting my hair colored. My stylist was finishing up and her next client came in. I was texting my husband as they were chatting but I was obviously aware of what they were talking about since we were all in the same room. This nice woman was speaking about a man that she had been dating for a short time. It was interesting to hear her talk about their relationship and how much fun they were having. And yet, in everything she said she seemed to be trying to talk herself out of enjoying him and the newfound companionship. She talked about how much her children liked him. Her parents had met him and approved as well. So what was her hesitation?
Curiosity got the best of me so I asked her what she was so hesitant about. She talked about a caring, fun, financially stable man and her face took on a sort of glow at the mention of his name. I had to know what was holding her back.
We had briefly discussed my wonderful husband and the fact that prior to getting remarried I had been single almost five years. She has been single for nine years. I had enjoyed my independence and was very proud of everything I accomplished in that time professionally and financially, all while being the single mother of four children.
She asked me if I was afraid to lose him. It is crazy how an acquaintance and such a simple question could give me the gift of realizing something about myself that I had not previously acknowledged. My response to her was, “I was so afraid to lose that for a long time I was too afraid to find.” I didn’t realize the true impact of my words until I was alone in my car driving home. But then I realized that really was more accurate than I had ever before understood. Of course I am scared to lose him. You don’t find your true love and not have those fears. But where would I be if I had stayed in that position of being afraid to give myself to love?
Some chances are worth taking. I am thankful for every single day and night we are together. We have such an amazing marriage and family and I am thankful every day that he came into my life and I took that leap of faith into love.