Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

We’ve had a successful and wonderful breastfeeding relationship, and I have truly loved being able to offer Hallie comfort and nutrition for so many months. However. Hallie’s got a countdown until she is 2 years old. And every single time I think that maybe I’m being too harsh, or that perhaps Hallie might want to breastfeed beyond that, I get reminded exactly why we are weaning. She BITES.

Are you hearing me? I’m not talking a simple grazing of teeth when she unlatches, or when in her sleep she accidentally clamps down a little. I’m talking a full-blown, clenched bite that is PURPOSEFUL. Hallie thinks it’s hilarious. She will bite down and then scrape her teeth all the way across my nipple until it’s completely out of her mouth. What. The. Hell. Child.

I don’t know why the little sadist finds this amusing. Hallie has always liked to shock others. She lives for the reaction, but come on, kid. These are the titties that feed and nourish and comfort. How could you do this to me?!

And we go in circles. I tell Hallie that she is all done because she bites, and that hurts. Hallie will be sorry only while I’m refusing to let her breastfeed, and then she is back at it again. I’ve tried teething gels, because maybe that’s the issue. I’ve offered snacks and my time, because maybe she’s hungry or in need of attention. But nothing works.

Hallie was day-weaned before our international trip, but I’m not surprised that with the stress of travel that she regressed a bit. No harm, no foul, or so I thought. Now, Hallie is nursing more than she ever used to, with that 2 year deadline looming.

So I do consider backing down, but at the same time, I’m done. I’ve hit my max. Biting for amusement is not funny to me, and since it is so funny to her, that tells me she doesn’t quite need those titties as much as she used to. It’s more of a game than comfort or nutrition, and it is a game I’m very tired of playing.

The weaning process has began again now that we are home, and there will be tears. I will stay strong, for myself, and for my poor tortured nipples. The days of the biting breastfeeding toddler are numbered, and if the next child tests me in such a way, so help me.