Getting Real with Kira Hazledine
My husband and I don’t go on dates often. We both work, I chase after our toddler during the day, and we are just generally tired. I said to him the other day how impressed I was that we were both awake past 9pm, because usually one of us is sleeping (and we were both asleep by 9:30). We finally get to the weekend and we are either tied up with obligations or too exhausted to leave the house. Date night doesn’t happen all the time, but it is important.
The mom guilt is so real.
I have a really hard time abandoning Hallie. The word “abandoning” is definitely dramatic, and I’m sorry. It’s just how it feels! The mom guilt pulls on my heart strings, even though I know she’s perfectly content with her grandparents. She may look uncertain or cry when I say “bye-bye” but I know that as soon as I am out the door she’s distracted and having a wonderful time. I know all these things, but it sucks leaving. I do it anyways, because as soon as I’m in the car, I’m ok as well. Hallie is safe, and I’m about to spend some quality time with my husband.
You were somebody before you were a mom.
Who were you before motherhood smacked you in the face? Don’t lose that person. Sure, our children take priority, and we make sacrifices. Welcome to motherhood. But that doesn’t mean that you have to press pause on every single one of your interests or personal desires. Go out with your significant other, or even with a group of friends, and be somebody other than a mom. Those moments are precious, and you’re allowed to do something that isn’t rated G.
It’s good parenting.
They always say to put your own oxygen mask or life jacket on in emergencies before assisting others. It may seem heartless to prioritize your own life before your children’s, but you can’t help anybody if you’re dead. Date night is good parenting, because that is your oxygen mask dangling in front of you. Take a moment to relax and refuel before you have to go home, because your children will always have demands. Taking time for you and your relationship gives you the energy to face those parenting challenges head on.
Your partner deserves your time, too.
Motherhood is demanding, and as important as it is to take time for yourself, it’s equally important to invest in your current relationship. The best parents are ones that communicate well and work together, and that can’t happen if you are both too overwhelmed to even have a conversation. Motherhood is so difficult, and you want to have someone on your team to defend against the gremlins. I mean, children.
Even if your child cries, go on date night. Even if they aren’t happy while you’re gone, go on date night. Your children will survive, and honestly, it’s good for all of you to have some space. If your child doesn’t cope well, even a 30-minute walk is enough to get some breathing space. Date night doesn’t have to be extravagant, but it’s important that you take the time for yourself and your significant other. You’ll be so glad you did, and even though leaving is hard, it makes coming home so rewarding.