Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

I had no idea. I know that it’s a chore I’ve been putting off for far too long, but still. My child doesn’t even eat that many snacks yet, right? It’s not like we’ve been hoarding McDonald’s french fries for months. Although Hallie was not hoarding french fries, she was storing way too many undesirable items in her car seat. I went through several stages of horror before I finally achieved a clean car seat, and it was not a chore I enjoyed.

Stage 1: Denial.

As I took the car seat out of the car, I shook it out a bit to get rid of whatever crumbs were hiding. I figured that was most of it, so I could safely take the car seat inside without too much of a mess. This should be pretty easy, I thought to myself. Ha.

Stage 2: What is that?!

I looked closer at the car seat and noticed stains from who knows what, sticky pieces from I have no idea, and bits of cereal that I know we haven’t purchased in a very long time. Hallie doesn’t even eat sticky food, so what in the world is in her car seat? I don’t think I ever want to know. As I attempted to get the car seat apart, more crumbs and food chunks rained down into my lap and on the floor. Gross.

Stage 3: Where is the instruction manual?

I assumed that the car seat would easily come off, but not with this model. I do love the car seat we chose, but I didn’t realize I needed step-by-step instructions to remove the “easily washable” fabric. So I sat in my pile of gremlin leftovers as I wrestled with the car seat, but only after I had dug the manual out of my unorganized pile of important papers.

Stage 4: That’s definitely not coming out in the washer.

Before I could even put my “easily washable” car seat fabric into the washer, I had to peel and scrub mashed bits of leftover whatever out of the fabric. It even had to soak for a bit for huge chunks to come off the car seat. Hallie will never eat in this car seat again!

Stage 5: Reassembly.

Out came the instruction manual again, because how the hell do I put this car seat back together? It was out of the washer and mostly clear of the horrors I had experienced, aside from one mysterious stain that I’ll pretend doesn’t exist. At least the splashed milk has been taken care of before the heat of summer makes it rot in my car.

Yay, the car seat was clean and put back together! I swore up and down that Hallie would never eat in her car seat again and that I would make a better effort to clean it more regularly. Unfortunately, I’ve already proven myself a liar because Hallie had a snack in her car seat the next day. And the next time I will attempt to clean this car seat is not on my calendar. I’ll avoid it again and visit these stages of horror a few more times, I’m sure.