Building self-esteem is not typically a topic gets a lot of attention on a parenting site, but I’ve discovered, through my own experience with my children and through reading emails and having conversations with other stepmoms, that self-esteem, particularly building self-esteem in our stepdaughters, is something we should be talking about more.
Young girls are already bombarded with ridiculous images of beauty in the media, and already have some of the most unreasonable expectations of themselves. When you add to those pressures the chaos of fighting and divorcing parents, the adjustments of new living arrangements and a new stepmother in the picture, competing for attention with Dad, your stepdaughter’s self-esteem will dwindle even further.
The best thing you can do as a step mom, regardless of your relationship with your stepdaughter and regardless of the other influences she may have in her life (friends, her biological mother, or others) is to make sure you are not part of the destruction of her self-esteem.
This is an excerpt from Shadra’ s book, Stories From a StepMom, available on Amazon Kindle. Read more or request a review copy..
Good for you! Really, so many times a step parent finds it too tempting not to respond in ways that lead to poor modeling and alienation from the child.
It sounds like you did it right, by remembering that you are the grown up. Respect and patience go along way. I love this story, thanks for sharing.
And, isn’t it lovely to have such a doll of a step daughter who you have bonded with for life.