I am thrilled to introduce our newest MomsGetReal contributor, my very own daughter, Kira Hazledine. As you read the blogs on MomsGetReal, you’ll learn a lot about the child, teen, and college student Kira. Now she’s married and a mom – and she has great perspective on parenting to share. She’s also responsible for making me a Nana, so yay for me!

– Shadra


 

Getting Real with Kira Hazledine

When I first became pregnant, there immediately started a list of all the things I would NEVER do. Yes, I did that obnoxiously annoying thing that all new moms tend to do before they know the joys (horrors) of parenting. I was having a good laugh with myself, and started thinking about that list again about 15 months later. Let’s all laugh together.

I Will Never Co-Sleep

This one is probably my favorite, one that even my husband laughs at now. The first few months, we did pretty well at keeping our little angel in her bassinet. She slept peacefully next to us, while we had our own glorious space. If I remember correctly, I am certain that Hallie took advantage of my exhaustion as a working mom and played me hard. I was breastfeeding, and it was so much easier to take her into bed with me to nurse rather than sit in the rocking chair fighting to stay awake. Fascinating thing about breastfeeding: There is a hormone secreted in the nighttime that promotes sleep for the both of you. I can tell you, it works well, because I would wake up hours later and the baby would still be next to me.

Co-sleeping certainly has its benefits, as well as dangers, but it’s what worked for us and we practiced it safely. And for us, I mean me. My husband complained about the situation until I told him that until he could take the night shift with his worthless man-boobs, I was going to dictate how the nights went. And here we are more than a year later, with a toddler dominating our bed. Oh well.

I Will Never Breastfeed After 1 Year

hallie tongueHallie more or less laughs in my face when I talk about weaning. I anticipated weaning at a year for completely selfish reasons, because I wanted my boobs back. I wanted to be able to drink, or go somewhere without a child reaching in my shirt. The reality is, even one beer knocks me down, and I’m honestly too tired to even care about a night out. I would rather cuddle up with a book and my husband at night, which means that there is also still a child attached to my boob. It’s just something she isn’t willing to let go of yet, and I don’t have the heart – or the energy to force it.

Word to the wise: call your boobs something appropriate for the outside world, like “milkies.” I never anticipated my child talking and nursing, and now she casually refers to breastfeeding as what she knows it as, which is “titties.” Yes, it’s hilarious, and I have no regrets.

I Will Never Bribe My Child with Food

I’ll end with this one, even though I’m sure there are many more. When Hallie was innocently growing inside me, I would make claims that I would use reason, empathy, and understanding when she wasn’t behaving well. Let’s be clear, I fight the big battles and I win. I will go the rounds with the dear little gremlin if it’s important. However, if I’m tired, and she is whining at me for reasons I know not of, I will hand her a few Cheetos. She loves Cheetos. She’s happy, I’m happy, and as a work-from-home-mom, that is very important.

Even as I type this, I have Hallie screeching “titties” at me and sticking her tongue out as far as it will go with a wide-open mouth. The reality is, my list of rules went out the window when Hallie was born, because I knew that I would do anything to keep her happy, safe, and nourished. I also recognized that in this thing we call parenting, my sanity is incredibly important as well.

Parenting is hard. There are too many societal expectations as it is, so I felt fine getting rid of a few of my own.

Everyone’s list of NEVERs is different. What was on your list that promptly got revoked?