Getting Real with Brittany Tiedmann
I have a lot of non-mom friends. I am one of the first in my group of friends to have a baby. Everyone was so excited for us and ready to spoil the baby as much as possible. Gifts came right and left from them with so much excitement. Fast forward to now… the baby is here and it has been 7 weeks of me adjusting to her and my new life as a mom. While trying to figure everything out, some things have been put on pause for minute. This note is for all my non-mom friends:
1. Text Messages
No trust me I’m not ignoring you, I promise! Things can escalate in a matter of 10 seconds now. I might have started to read the message and BOOM the baby starts to cry. By the time I finish changing, feeding, and getting her back to sleep, I have completely forgotten about that message. Not only that, but a few months ago I would have texted back at all hours of the day. These days, I am constantly falling asleep randomly when the baby is asleep. I’m not trying to go out of my way to not say hi or respond; I have a tiny human now that needs my constant attention and with all the lack of sleep I forget very easily.
So now that I did answer that call or text you sent me, please understand a few things:
First, please don’t get upset when I say that I have to go. Once again, things get crazy really fast. Plus you can’t do many baby things with one hand. I tried changing her diaper while on the phone once; it didn’t turn out great. We ended up having another load of laundry to do. Sometimes I just want to hang out with the baby when she’s awake. Now that she is starting to be awake more, I want to spend that time playing with her. She’s only little once and I want to enjoy this time with her.
The second thing is that I don’t always want to talk about the baby. Please, ask me how I am and mean it! Don’t get me wrong – I love to talk about my baby. She is the center of my world right now. Sometimes I just need time away from talking about her. I would love to talk about how your day was or how funny something was on the TV. Heck, I could carry on a conversation about Flex Seal! Please don’t make the whole conversation about the baby. I need some love too.
3. Hanging Out
I’m a package deal now! If you ask me to hang out, please be aware the baby is going to come too. I can’t leave her home alone; she doesn’t know how to put the pizza in the oven yet when she’s hungry. She has to be around my husband or me to survive right now. Yes I want to hang out, and I will come over to your house, but please remember that I am bringing my favorite tiny baby with me and what seems like my whole house to come hang out. Along with hanging out, please be mindful of asking what we should do. I have a baby I am not going to go out and have a few drinks. Trust me, I need those drinks – but I also have an alarm clock going off at 1 am, 4 am, and 7 am – and this is one alarm clock I can’t ignore or snooze. As much as I want to go out to the bar with you, I can’t. Plus, what am I suppose to do with the baby? Yes, I can leave her with her dad, but sometimes that is not an option for me. My husband has a rotating schedule and works 13 hours when he is working, so I can’t always count on him to watch her so that I can go out. For right now I want to play it low key if I do hang out with friends.
So please, friends of mine, don’t get upset with me. I’m just a sleep deprived hot mess trying to figure out how take care of my new tiny human.