Getting Real with Kira Hazledine
There’s always talk about finding your village. It takes a village to raise a child. It’s important to find mom friends to support you. This is all so freaking true, but we also need to turn and look at our own actions. What are we doing to create a village for others? If you want a good village built, you have to be a part of creating it.
- Put yourself out there.
It’s impossible to expect help when people don’t know who you are, what you need, and how you feel. The first step is building connections to those who could potentially become your village. Finding friends is a little bit like dating, but it’s an important process. You don’t want a sanctimommy in your village, so you need to know who people are and they need to know you.
- Be the support you wish you had.
There were moments with my first child that were so stressful because I didn’t have any mom friends are anyone to commiserate with. I was lonely and my child was severely lacking in social skills. Now, whenever I see a new mom, I do what I can to make them feel welcome. You never know who’s really in need of a support system, and a friendly face is sometimes all someone needs.
- Don’t be afraid to rally the troops.
Creating a village isn’t something that naturally happens. It’s requesting favors of others when another mom is in a time of need. No obligations, of course, but there is never shame in asking for help. If people can and want to give, they will. People will quickly learn who can be relied on, and moms will continue to lean on each other knowing that the favor will always be returned.
- Be a friend.
Do friend things. Don’t let your children be the only thing that bonds you. Go out for ice cream or even do some grocery shopping without the kids. Mom time is limited, and it’s nice to have a group of people you can hang out with whether kids are present or not.
It does take a village to raise children, but villages take time and effort to create. If you are searching for these special connections, be a part of making them happen. When you open yourself up by seeking help and giving help to others, mom villages tend to bloom pretty quickly.