As I was growing up with my family fully intact, I never thought that I would be faced with being an adult step child. My parents had been married my whole life. I had never even imagined what it would be like to have a stepmom or stepdad. Even once my mom was diagnosed with leukemia I never thought that my world could so completely fall apart, as it did once she was gone. I thought things would just get better and that life would somehow return to normal once she was cured. Because of course that was the only option. We would all just have a new appreciation for life and we would get back to our normal family.
The problem is that never happened. My mom never got better. She went in for a regular appointment in preparation for a special program she was going to be part of at Stanford University and wasn’t feeling well. My dad took her back up the stairs to the doctor and she never again left the hospital again. Facing the loss of my mom, one of my best friends, was (and sometimes still is) the worst thing I have ever done in my life.
Of course, intellectually, I realized that with my mom gone that meant that my dad was now alone. After having been married for 35+ years he was now on his own. I still never contemplated the fact that he would meet and eventually marry someone new. For my-self at least, it wasn’t the fact that I was so against my dad moving on but the fact that it made so final the fact that my mom was not coming back.
Luckily for my dad he met a wonderful woman that makes him very happy. They have a great life together and I have always been made to feel very welcome at their home. Step parents can be a great addition to our lives. It can be hard at first but with an open mind and open heart it is possible to have a great relationship with each other.