MomsGetReal™ is thrilled to introduce our newest Contributor Brenda Neighbors

My husband and I have been married for 5 years, this year, and we have never celebrated Valentine’s Day. We both agree the holiday has been taken over by red roses, teddy bears, chocolates and mushy cards. Don’t get me wrong, we are madly in love ,but honestly, the roses will die and I’ll continually forget to throw them out, teddy bears just aren’t my thing, chocolate sticks to my…hips, and I’m going to feel guilty when I throw his card away! We just say Happy Valentine’s Day and move on with our day. Of course we spoil the kids, but as for my husband and I, it’s life as usual.

Valentine’s Day does allow me to reflect on the meaning of love. Sometimes I think we get into a routine of saying “I love you” and forget to reflect upon the value of those words. I find myself doing it after a brief conversation with my husband; like a routine. We have overcome quite a bit over the years, more than most adults face in their entire lifetime, and it doesn’t take much to remind me how much I love my husband. I think love is a word of great value.

I was watching a television program a few days ago, the show talked about the physical effects of words on yourself, and the people you speak them to. If you continually tell yourself you are a loser, you will be a loser. Your body will slouch, your head will hang, your job performance will be poor, you will be unhappy. But, if you tell yourself you are a winner, you will stand with pride, head held high and you will strive for achievement. Try it. Spend a week telling yourself how wonderful and beautiful you are and take note of the physical and mental change that occurs in you.

I believe that by telling someone you love them, they would experience the same effect you feel by telling yourself you are a winner. But, if individually we forget the value of those words, they can lose their effect. So how do you remember those words have meaning? How do you avoid falling into a routine?

My husband and I always find examples of how we are committed to each other and we communicate that. Tonight is a perfect example. I am very close to graduating with my bachelor’s degree and it seems every week I am hitting a speed bump in this process. Notably on the verge of an emotional and mental breakdown, my husband spent his 20-minute break at work listening to me rant and rave like some crazy lady about yet another hoop I have to jump through. After he interrupted me to inform me his break was over he said “I love you and it’s going to be okay, I am very proud of you”. As an instant feeling of relief came over me, I realized the value of his words. They made me feel loved, comfortable and safe. I took a breath and replied, “You are wonderful, thank you.”

3 thoughts on “The Value of I Love You

  1. Like you, I was never a big flower, teddy bear, chocolate, (or even a gold and diamond fan for that matter) so I invented a new tradition of “taking” instead of “giving” on Valentine’s Day. The first year, we both quit smoking. On our second year, we stopped all sweet cereals, syrups, and any adding of white sugar to our meals. This year, we agreed to put an end to all fast food restaurants. And the best part is with all the ways to self-improve, you’ll never run out of ideas!

    1. Alex, what a wonderful way to ensure you will both be around to enjoy each other for so much longer. My husband and I have never felt better than when we started creating good habits together (no microwave, no fast food, no high fructose corn syrup, no transfats, etc). Good for you!

      -Shadra

  2. Alex, I love that idea. It’s a good way to recognize the love for youself and share it with someone else you love. I think I will have to adopt this habit. I know just where my husband and I can start. We both moan how we are out of shape and need to get to the gym…Thanks for another great idea for showing some love :)

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