Poetry, a Pathway to Healing

MomsGetReal™ Poet Extraordinaire Tammy Bartholomew

Love

Love is a mystery
Found in interesting places
Created by people
Things, time & spaces
It can be given freely
Or come with a cost
Keep it forever
Mostly always lost
Established from a distance
Or over a period of time
Sometimes a hidden secret
Love is even blind
The hardest love
Is to Love ourselves
Continually looking for it
From things or someone else
Why can’t we be happy
Without continued affirmations
Materialistic things
Other contributions
Some want to share
Through touch & emotions
All this does is mix
With our devotions
It doesn’t seem
Enough giving it freely
It just gets pushed away
While others take it so willingly
When taken
And not given back
Our heart is broken
Not knowing how to react
Time tends to heal
Love that is lost
Another journey looking
Finding it at all cost
If we are not getting
The love to fill the empty hole
We will go scouring risking
It all to fill our soul
We get furious when
Our Love is taken
Thinking we deserved it
But we are sadly mistaken
Becoming jaded an angry
Revenge becomes the plan
How can this be
Why don’t we understand
Give your heart so young
Thinking it is forever
That is just not the case
With all life’s endeavors
Balance is the key
Know what fills the part
Forgiveness is needed
To let Love in your heart
Who Is My Protector

Who is my Protector
When I go astray
Helps with my insecurities
Problems along the way
It should be my father
It will never be
To many issues of his own
Not always able to help me
Is it my mother
Yes from the day I was born
Sometimes overwhelmed
Never leaving me alone
It should be my ex husband
But to busy always to deal
Can’t depend on him
Himself learning how to heal
My counselor
Listens and reaffirms
But me teaching myself
For what I have learned
Is it a new man
Trying to fit his mold
Not to be fat, independent or strong
Opinionated or to bold
Is it my Bestie
When I have a bad day
Just pick up the phone
I am a phone call away
Why do people think
I am the solver of problems
Never the first to know
Always were it ends
Searching frantically
When problems arise
Not knowing the answer
Too much of a surprise
Ask myself again
Who will be there to protect me
Will it be God
For all eternity
Please save me
Relieves me from the pain
Teach me that I am
The one not to blame
Help me come up with a solution
Put a plan in motion
Calm all the people
From this great commotion
Let them know
I need protection too
Don’t always have the answers
Let him see them through
Teach me from the
Help me through today
Guide me into tomorrow
Protect me when I don’t know the way
Freedom to Fly

White picket fence
Two car garage
Three perfect children
Full time jobs
Day to day living
Family vacations
Love growing
Building relations
Dining out
Church on Sunday
Cleaning house
Kids we would play
Tables turn
In half a life
Choices made
No longer a wife
Single moments
Dust starting to settle
Gathering information
Start fixing the mental
Pain and suffering
Heart mending
Old and new
Starts blending
Not a failure
My new reality
Focus on the future
And what will be
Savor the moments
Time to spend
Patience and peace
Learning to bend
A piece of the cookie
Instead of the whole
Content with that
Blessing to my soul
As the breeze
Continues to blow by
Give myself permissions
Wings and freedom to fly

The Steps of Letting Go

The Steps of Letting Go

Emotions run high
During the divorce grieving process
You feel every one of them
Trying to figure out this mess
Manipulated, mad
Are a few to start
Frustrated, betrayed
Because someone broke your heart
Denial is the first phase
I hear you go through
Not wanting to believe
Someone is through with you
Anger and rage
Is next I am supposed to feel
Still trying to get there
In the process trying to heal
Depression on the docket
Do I really need to go there
All I have been through
Do I even dare
Hurt, confusion, rage
Has to be in there somewhere
I’m sure they wouldn’t be
If the person truly cared
Acceptance is part of the last step
I have to take
Prayers and letting go
Forgiving the mistakes

Poetry – An Emotional Balm

MomsGetReal™ Poet Extraordinaire Tammy Bartholomew

You’re In My Heart

I said I miss you today
Even though we are miles apart
You said you were with me
Because I had you in my heart
You are growing up so fast
A strong handsome young man
It boggles my mind
Things you can comprehend
Told you I was moving on
What did I need to do
Explain but you all said
We are happy for you
What an adult answer
For me to make a new start
From my strong handsome son
Remember you will always in my heart

The Steps of Letting Go

Emotions run high
During the divorce grieving process
You feel every one of them
Trying to figure out this mess
Manipulated, mad
Are a few to start
Frustrated, betrayed
Because someone broke your heart
Denial is the first phase
I hear you go through
Not wanting to believe
Someone is threw with you
Anger and rage
Is next I am supposed to feel
Still trying to get there
In the process trying to heal
Depression on the docket
Do I really need to go there
All I have been through
Do I even dare
Hurt, confusion, rage
Has to be in there somewhere
I’m sure they wouldn’t be
If the person truly cared
Acceptance is part of the last step
I have to take
Prayers and letting go
Forgiving the mistakes

Nails in Our Coffin

Through our additions
We face each day
We start to put nails in our coffin
In a bed we must lay
Whether it be with alcohol
Or maybe even drugs
Sometimes even through
The ones we loved
We hear our bodies our a temple
We keep putting poisons in
See it doesn’t seem to matter
The world just continues to spin
Maybe it is with food
Certain amounts to survive
Not every food healthy
To help keep us alive
What about the disease
We can’t seem to fight
Another nail in our coffin
Closer to our forever goodnight
We are so engrossed
Just keep putting the toxin in
When will we learn
This is one nail closer to our end
We are all in the vicious cycle
Some can’t even see
How their actions
Start to affect me
We want to believe
The more knowledge we have
We should be able to face
Maybe just learn to laugh
Additions come in many forms
You never realize
Sometimes we tricks ourselves
In believing our own lies
We don’t want to face
We are all the same
Some may even die sooner
Of the dreaded game

Mind Games

Mind Games by Tammy Bartholomew

Mind games

Played so well

Consuming lives

Others in hell

Our minds crazy

Waiting the next move

Out playing the other

What will they do

By the phone

A call or text

Read the unknown

What will happen next

Take others feelings

Make them our own

Become someone else

Sitting all alone

Surrounded by people

We think we knew

Willing to trust

Bare our sole to

Family and friends

Choosing a side

Betrayal and trust

To someone who’s lied

Unproductive

Minds pounding

Blood pressure rising

Everything mounting

A drug

We need to survive

Asking ourselves

Will I still be alive

Much are we fed

That’s not true

Might of been the creator

Between me and you

Eating thoughts

In our head

If not careful

Ending up dead

Water to Oil

Water to Oil by Tammy Bartholomew

Soon you will been served

Now the true fight will begin

Who will raise our beautiful daughter

And our handsome young men

You say your don’t have feelings

Find that hard to be true

You choose not to play your emotions

In the end this will screw you

Know you are so gitty

To be with your new love

This is your new Angel with a “Halo”

Sent from heaven above

Woof Woof Woof

Is all I have to say

Enjoy your new life

You will get yours on “D” day

Just wanted things to be fair

I am only asking for the truth

Give me the respect I deserve

Have a little kooth

Thanks for sharing

Your Georgia peach for the first time

Did you dazzler her with a BS story

Thai food and red wine

You need to come to grips

Oh but that would be me telling you

Giving you a demand

I’m so over you

I told you

I always win in the end

When you find your integrity

You might be able to be my friend

But don’t count on it

Because to my friends I am loyal

You and me have just become

Like water is to oil

Puppet on a String

Puppet on a String by Tammy Bartholomew

You are both like

Puppets on a string

Having to be orchestrated

By other human beings

You can’t stand by yourself

You have to be deceitful telling lies

Everyone can see

Through your fake disguise

Your masters are strong

But that was never enough

Too bad for you

Now life is going to get really rough

You started

A relationship by lying

Can’t imagine part of you

Inside not dying

Neither can stand

To be alone in the war

But in the end

Enjoy your new whore

I loved you

With all of my heart

But now my puppet

You need to make a fresh start

You are great

At the dance and song

Maybe that is why you

Are so good at stringing people along

You used each other

To put on a show

How sad true love

You will never know

Your hearts are

Made of stone

Hopefully neither of you

Will end stringing each other along

See my puppet

You don’t get to pull my strings

Because I am the master

And a great human being

Loneliness

Loneliness

by Tammy Bartholomew

Wish I could explain

The loneliness I feel

It is sadness like I have never known

And everything so surreal

Didn’t choose this

Maybe that is why

Just want to curl up

In a ball and just die

My first night

Truly being alone

All the kids gone

No one at our home

Today I signed

The first steps to let you go

It kills me inside

Because I loved you so

Want to fight

For me and you

But I don’t think

You want me to

Maybe I am just like you

Not wanting to be by myself

But I definitely don’t want

To be with someone else

Never realized how you felt

Because you never shared

Whatever made you think

That I never cared

You and the kids

Are my life as I know

I am still confused

How do I let go

Will give it God

Hopefully he can provide

What my future is clearly about

Bringing peace to me inside

There say divorce

You start to grieve

But I never in my life

Wanted you to leave