Complicated

Widgetized Section

Go to Admin » Appearance » Widgets » and move Gabfire Widget: Social into that MastheadOverlay zone

The Challenges of Being a Stepparent

Getting Real With +Shadra Bruce, Owner of +MomsGetReal

Parenting, as rewarding as it is, can be a tough job. There are a lot of demands and pressures that go with raising kids, but they are often offset by the enormous fulfillment that comes from raising children.

Stepparenting is even harder.

Stepparents often do all the things parents do – providing emotional and financial support for the kids, participating in and encouraging the child’s success, and putting their own needs aside to meet those of the children. You do the work of a parent, in most cases, either full time or part time, but get none of the recognition. You raise the children, love the children, financially support the children, and guide them through life, mostly from an unseen and under-appreciated place. Stepparents do not even get a line on the family tree!

It’s not about recognition, of course, but it’s never easy to make efforts that are not recognized or appreciated. It’s no surprise that some stepparents end up feeling as though the efforts are not worth it. More than once I’ve worked with a stepmom who is so overwhelmed by playing the role of mom while being treated like the unwelcome intruder that she is ready to give up. It’s really, really hard to be still in the building phase of a new marriage while having extra people to care for whose needs and wants are complicated by their insecurity about the changes that are happening in their lives.

 No wonder so many end up divorcing again. Stepparenting is HARD.

There are no easy answers. Successful blended families happen because the biological parent supports the stepparent, because the adults act like adults, because the families embrace open communication and mutual respect, because of deep commitment and a willingness to persist, and because of luck. Most of all, though, successful stepparenting comes from being willing to put your heart out there, even when it might get stomped on a bit.

If you enjoy this post, be sure to follow MomsGetReal on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and Google+!

The Challenges of Being a Stepparent is protected by international copyright. (c) Shadra Bruce owner of MomsGetReal.


2 Responses to The Challenges of Being a Stepparent

  1. Elizabeth Sanchez Reply

    October 21, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    LOVE IT! Shadra, you always word it so perfectly. Thank you for putting this stuff out there. It’s tough to put your heart and soul into loving a child and having no say in his life, but every time Eddy says, “I love you, chivet,” I know I wouldn’t change anything.

  2. Pingback: Stepparent challenges | Jfndesign

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


4 − = zero

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>